Teach me how to Doogie!

2011-04-16T14:50:00.000-07:00

I am not to be considered the girly type. I may dress nicely, and enjoy the way I look, but I am by no means anything like that. Because of this, whenever a guy is rumured to like me, I get extreamly confused.

Why would he like me? What's wrong with him?

Never before have I been able to stop these questions from running through my head. It haunts me.
On top of that, when I see them, even if it's just out of the corner of my eye, I get nervous. Only on the inside. I am known to look extreamly calm in times of great distress, or at least when it counts.

Its probably obious to you now, that I indeed, have a hunch that someone I barley know likes me. For now, let's just call him... Doogie? Yeah, Doogie suits him. Anyway, Doogie is someone I've noticed since day one. He's hilarious (I love funny guys), and not a slut lover. At least I think so. He doesn't seem to pay attention to any of the purposefully revealed girls, even though I do see that they pay attention to him. For now I'm not going to note his looks or his friends (That'll be in a later post.).

Every time i turn around, there he is. His eyes looking straight into mine; almost as if Doogie was trying to take my soul. If that weren't scary enough, he doesn't look away. When I joke in class (which is often, I'm probably the most outspoken person there) he laughs his ass off, then goes on to make me laugh my ass off. Doogie just makes me want to scream, say something, avoid any awkwardness. Alas, I cannot.
Next comes a boy we will call Chamm. I have no reasoning for that name but just stay with me. Chamm is my "Ex boyufriend." Or at least he thinks we are. We NEVER REALLY DATED! All we did was talk on skype and meet up at the mall once, even though we kind of considered eachother girlfriend and boyfriend. But he would never talk to me at school (which, in a way, made me extreamly happy) and he constantly avoided me, assumeing that "I needed space" or because he was worried that he would annoy me. Truth is, he did. I wanted to punch him so hard that his teeth fell out, and still do. Eventually we "broke-up", and that was that. Huh, not for him.

Now chamm assumes he "owns me." Any guy I talk to (even the gay ones) ends up on his shit list. I'm sick and tired of feeling like property. Yo quiero Chamm to burn in el fuego.

WHY, WHY, WHY, WHY, WHY, WHY, WHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?!?!?

As if I didn't want this type of crap already. Every minute, every second of the day I spend avoiding him, and all he does is watch what I do. I let him down very, very gently. I told him that I wasn't breaking up with him to be with another guy. But NOOOOOOOOOO. Chamm just always has to assume the worst that he can. I have a feeling that this will leak into Doogie and I's "Relationship".

Bitches be crazy.

Unwanted Emotions

Teach me how to Doogie!